The Dream

One night, as I was sleeping, I had a dream.
In my dream, my body had died.
My soul was in Jannah.
I was a young girl-fresh, clean, new, and beautiful. I had not a trace of sin from my previous life.
An Angel was standing there with me.
I felt confusion and fear.
"Angel? Am I to be alone?"
"No. You have a family."
"Who is my family? Did my family enter Jannah?"
"The family you had when your body was alive is not the family you have in Jannah."
I saw a woman standing far from me. She was looking towards me, and calling my name. My name was not the name I had in the world. She called to me "Fatima! Come here. Your Ummi wants to hug her baby."
Fatima was the name I was given when I converted to Islam.

I looked at the Angel, and I asked "Who is that woman?"
"That is your mother."
"My mother came to Jannah? That does not look like my mother. That is not her voice. My real mother never even knew I existed. She never called to me and told me she wanted me like that. Tell me! WHO is that woman?"

"That is your mother" said the Angel.
"Surely that is NOT my mother! My mother never loved me like that! My mother did not like that woman. She is beautiful. My mother was not. She is a Muslim. I see her praying even now, asking Allah to bring her beloved daughter to her. That is NOT my mother! My mother was a disbeliever. She loved Alcohol, drugs, and men more than me. Who is that woman! Tell me Angel. Do not lie to me!"

"That is your mother, Fatima."

"My name is not Fatima! My name is Kristy. You have me mistaken for another person. I am not a young girl! I am a middle aged woman with a child. Why do you call me Fatima? You have me mistaken for a young girl. Bring the correct girl to her mother. Look. Her mother is praying to Allah, and crying tears of crystal. She needs her daughter. Take me back to where I belong to, and bring the real daughter here. I belong in Hell. Not this beautiful Paradise. Take me where I belong Angel, now! How can you allow such a mistake? Where did you take the girl Fatima? Is she in my place in Hell?"

"No." The Angel replied. "You are Fatima. This is your mother. This is your home. You belong in Paradise. Allah has forgiven your sins, and the woman that is your mother is not the woman that you called Mother while your body was alive. She is a pious and loving Muslim woman who never was able to have a child while her own body was alive. She prayed for you. You have been cleansed, washed away of your sins, and given a new Mother. Give thanks to Allah for your new chance. Be happy here in this beautiful Paradise."

"But Angel! I was a bad person! I never prayed, I commited Zina, I did many sins. Why am I here? I do not belong here. I belong in Hell. I am bad. Please send me where I belong!"

"Fatima.." The Angel replied.
"Allah has forgiven you. Your mother will teach you to read the Qu'ran properly. The woman who never had a child on Earth will have a child here in Paradise. She will teach you to pray, and teach you to love Allah. The few times you did fall on your face in humility while your body was alive, begging for forgiveness from Allah earned you this place. You have a second chance Fatima. You will also have a husband here. All of the children you lost while your body was alive will be born here to you. You will also have the son you were never given. This boy was an Orphan in his life, and turned to Allah for guidance. When you marry, the man that marries you will be the one that begged Allah for a wife, but did not live to marry. Everything here you see is in this beautiful Paradise. This is your reward for your small faith in Allah. Grow your faith here, and you will become the Muslima you never were while in the world. Teach others, and give thanks and praise to Allah for his Mercy, Kindness and Love to you. Now go to your mother"

Then I awoke.. and realized I was alone.

The dream was just a beautiful dream-
a wish perhaps.
But I am still here to change, so I will give thanks to Allah for another day.

I seek guidance and refuge in you, O Allah. Help me forgive those that have hurt me, and provide love to those that have not. Give the Orphan a mother, the Single man a wife, and the sinner a second chance.

Ameen.